I'm trying to distract myself from the odd sensation of sudden blood loss. I was reading something about swearing in South Pasedena when all of a sudden I decided to embed a metal spatula into my right pinky finger. Why was I futzing around with a spatula while reading blogs? Because nothing tastes better than a hot grilled cheese sandwich with a side of self-published verbal composition. I dare you to find a better culinary accompaniment.
The wound looks pretty deep, and there's all sorts of blood under my fingernail. But that's not what concerns me. I find it a bit more troublesome that my entire arm is numb and I'm still bleeding about 20 minutes later. Am I in pain? I can't tell. Am I going to puke? It's a possibility. I think my tetanus is current, so I'm not going to get all buggered out over this.
Instead, I will beguile my senses by attempting to remember 10 things I thought about this evening.
1. Bolo Ties. Who thought of these? Wherefore? Does anyone have evidence of anyone looking good in one? Please tell me, I'd like to know.
2. Since about October, I've had extended stints where I feel like Sifl (from MTV's defunct Sifl & Olly) in the song Weird Day. Blood loss intensifies the effect. "Lost mind. No rhymes. Takes time." I get it, Sifl. Santa Claus, he's not pretend.
3. Why hasn't anyone heard of My Kingdom? I wanted to watch this movie tonight. I'm meeting someone tomorrow about a King Lear thing and God forbid I reread the original beforehand. I was feeling lazy and I just wanted a nice evening where I could hunker down and watch the late, great Richard Harris. I saw My Kingdom a few years ago and decided that it was the best Lear film adaptation since Ran. I must've seen it while I lived in Ireland because I don't think it's been distributed here. And that's a damn shame.
4. I don't think I could recognize a picture of myself taken in profile. Maybe my hairdo would give it away...
5. I wish it was OK to knock on a stranger's door when you're out for a walk and have to use the loo. I got stuck tonight up on Klickitat thinking, "Uh oh, 12 blocks is too far!" I proved myself wrong, but it did make the second half my evening constitutional a tidbit uncomfortable.
6. Do you ever take out a battery operated device (like a tape recorder, Gutterheads) that you haven't used in years and expect the batteries to work? I do.
7. When I got the Bactine bottle out, I realized that I'm convinced that the generic for Bactine is bacsiduent. I don't think such a word really exists. Google sure doesn't think so.
Did I say 10? I meant 7. My first aid kit had fingertip bandages! Who's special now?