The eau de vie that quenched my thirst for acting evaporated some time while I was in college. Or, maybe I just lost my taste for it when I discovered that my talents were better focused elsewhere. Either way, I think it's important to establish: I am not an actor, nor do I want to be an actor.
Still, I somehow managed to garner a reputation as the Reigning Durang Queen of my beloved alma mater. This is because I was cast as the title character in a student production of Naomi in the Living Room (probably performed sans permissions, oops). I doubt I'll be able to live this down as long as my college cronies live dementia-free.
For those unfamiliar with this play, Naomi is absolutely batshit crazy. The scene is nightmarish and bizarre. Naomi flip flops between extreme emotions. She is cruel, vulnerable, and makes sense only to herself. Naomi is a problem, but a really, really fun problem for an actor.
After Naomi, I had obviously found my niche as an actor: larger than life, highly unstable women. I have director friends that sometimes threaten to make me reprise my short-lived acting career. They taunt me with another Durang creation, Sister Mary Ignatius because I would be "perfect for that role in 20 years." I used to work with someone that thought the world would be a better place if I could recreate the role of Joan Crawford from Mommie Dearest.
If I was at all driven to act, my knack for instability might prompt a serious "what does this say about me?" exploration. Instead, I am happy enough to say that my experience playing Naomi has given me a choice line that I have used (repeatedly) to describe myself and other colorful folks in the theater.
"I need a big couch to sit on a because I'M A BIG PERSONALITY!!!!"