Dnt Wnt 2 Txt

I've got a lot of gripes in me, but few can compare to the one I have against text messaging. Yeah I'm supposed to be all hip and with the times or whatever, but I really resent this technology. Text messaging. Booo! I hate it.

The problem only seems to be getting worse. Several of my friends use text as their preferred method of correspondence. Sometimes I return their texts with a phone call. I know this drives at least one of them absolutely batshit crazy. She won't answer, but instead sends me another message to decode: "@Work. Ur 2 return txt w/ txt. Told you x 1000."

I usually respond to this by leaving her an inappropriate voicemail message. If she had actually told me 1000 times already, she should know better.

I don't know how much I can delve into how irksome I find this text messaging phenom. I'm feeling anxious just thinking about texting. My teeth are clenched, my stomach flutters. Something does not feel quite right.

And it's not right. I shouldn't have to take the time to send 6 or 7 text messages to express what could be covered in a 30 second phone call. It takes me forever to hunt and peck with my thumbs. I did not spend painstaking hours on my Dad's Smith-Corona so I could sit, staring cross-eyed at my telephone. I did not spend countless afternoons hanging out with Mavis Beacon so that I might read a 60 character message that I have to respond to without the crutch of my darling QWERTY.

I think my biggest grudge against text messaging is that it combines two things that I don't like very much: telephones and maintaining visual interest. Phones have never been my thing. I spend more of my time listening to TV than actually watching it. Why would I want to devote 100% of my concentration to my telephone? It makes my skin crawl.